I'm sitting across the table from my mentor. He's been assigned to me and I'm nervous. I'm really nervous. I wish that I'd had had a big list of mentors to choose from, but in reality the list was short, and the list of those actually available was even shorter.

I don't know this guy at all. Yes, we've had a brief conversation about his back ground. And yes he seems properly qualified and he makes assuring comments such as:

"I'm here for you "

"I'm going to work alongside you"

"I'm a strength based sort of mentor"

It's hard to know whether he's genuine or not. There's no reason to doubt that he wouldn't be. But I'm looking for a certain someone that I want to work with; who will inspire me; who will help me delve into the depths of ME.

As I sit there I can't help but wonder if this is a tick box sort of situation.

My Board chair thinks it's a great idea. He comes from a business background and he says it's the norm in the business world. 

The problem is I don't really trust my Board chair. Our relationship isn't particularly positive.  And I know that my mentor will be answering to my Board chair.

I need my mentor to be answerable to me. And I need to feel comfortable in my mentor enough to be answerable to him. That's the secret spot where the magic will truly occur. I could grow. I think it's called TRUST.

My mentor is working through a list.

 He's putting things on a calendar. He's saying things like:

"This is when I'll be down your way next, and so we can meet then"  and

"I need you to send me the following documents so that I can get a solid understanding of what's going on around here"  and

"In the third term we will be running a 360 degree review on how you're going. We'll talk to your whole team through an anonymous survey system to see how things are going."

The first two comments spill over me and I don't see any red flags. They're there, in the lines between what he says, but it's the 360 review that pricks up my ears.

I could go on about what happens next. But I won't. Instead I want to talk about what should have happened.

Let me rewind the tape, and start again ...

I'm sitting across the table from my mentor. I've chosen him and I've already worked through with him how we're going to work togehter. This has been a negotiation - and we've co-constructed how things are going to work. I'm feeling really invigorated. 

I feel as though I know this guy; I trust him. He's in it for me. That feels good.

As I sit here I can't help but wonder if this is going to be an incredible year of growth for me.

As part of our negotiation I'm feeling comfortable with what, and how much, information will be shared with my Board chair. We've also discussed how this will be shared. 

My mentor is working through a list. It's a list that we've talked about together. He's using it to firm up some key dates throughout the year.

He's asking me when the key moments of the year are going to happen. He's meaning the stress points. And together we're planning how our meetings will support these stress points.

He's saying to me; "I'm just a zoom call away", but he doesn't really have to. That's a given, and we've already negotiated that.

He says he wants to see some key documents. He lists the reasons why, and what he's looking for in these documents. It's a short list. Essentially he wants to hear my voice in the documents that I'll share. 

He's also keen on understanding my strengths. So he's recommending that I undertake the VIA Strengths Survey (see below).

He tells me that he wants to see if my strengths align with my voice in the documents that I share with him.

We begin to talk about how we can gather information from my team about how I use my strengths better. He suggests that as part of this information gathering that we encourage my team to think about how they can utilise their individual strengths in places that my strengths aren't as strong.

Suddenly I feel something lifting; it's like a fog that has enveloped my thinking for some time now.

There's a sense building that I'm not in this on my own any more. 

The VIA Strengths Survey

https://www.viacharacter.org/

The VIA Strengths Survey, often referred to as the VIA Survey of Character Strengths, is a psychological assessment tool designed to identify your core strengths of character. VIA stands for Values in Action, and the survey was developed by positive psychologists Martin Seligman and Christopher Peterson.

Oh! And it's FREE.

The survey is based on the belief that by understanding and leveraging your character strengths you can lead to greater well-being, life satisfaction, and personal fulfillment. It can also help greatly in a professional capacity and is a perfect place to start when working with a mentor.

Oh! And it's FREE.

The survey identifies 24 universal character strengths that are considered to be present to some degree in everyone. These strengths are grouped into six broad virtues: wisdom, courage, humanity, justice, temperance, and transcendence.

In the survey you are asked to rate yourself on a scale for each of the 24 strengths based on how well each statement describes you. The statements are designed to capture the essence of each strength.

After completing the survey, you'll receive a personalised report that ranks your strengths from highest to lowest. The idea is to highlight your top strengths, providing insights into your unique character profile.

It really is very useful ... and it is free!